March 16, 2011
Past and Present
I was quite inspired by Rachel Denbow‘s recent post entitled “Past and Present“, so I thought that I would write a similar post so that you all could get to know me a bit more personally!
Past:
*When I was born I contracted a serious infection in the hospital. Another baby girl born the same day as me got the same infection and died from it. If it wasn’t for my amazing pediatrician who tried an unconventional treatment for my illness, I might not be here today!
* I loved softball so much as a little girl! I dreamed of playing professional softball someday, and watched “A League of Their Own” religiously.
* While in the first grade, I gave a boy a black eye, but not from punching him in the face, but rather because I liked to spin around during recess with my arms outstretched. He just so happened to walk into my fist mid-flight!
* I have been my height (5’8.5”) since about the 6th grade. Thanks puberty. I was tall and awkward, and wore braces for 6 years. My various childhood nicknames included “Jolly Green Giant” “Eiffel Tower” and “Big Bird”. And yes, I developed quite the low self esteem.
* I was OBSESSED with the band Switchfoot. Like I had issues. I had an entire wall of my room devoted to them. Yes, it was a shrine. And yes, the remains of my wall are boxed up in my garage now.
* I used to be a health nut in high school! No white sugar or flour EVER for 2 years. I also worked out at least 4 times a week.
* I was in charge of EVERY student group possible in high school. StuCo president, FCA president for a while, Yearbook Editor, Valedictorian. Etc. I am way less ambitious now 🙂
* I was homecoming queen my senior year of high school!
Present:
* I am a poor conversationalist, partly because my face makes inadvertent awkward faces during discussion! Oh, and I tend to over share information upon first meeting someone…. yikes
* I am more in love with my husband, Nathan, today, than I ever have been during our entire courtship.
* I still have an extremely low self esteem, and have battled depression on and off during my adult life. Stupid example, but I got my engagement and wedding photos taken by a downtown Springfield photographer. His assistant at the time worked with me at Starbucks. She was to deliver the proofs to me, and decided to show several of our customers the proofs before I ever saw them. One customer in particular came up to me and said, “I saw your pictures! I mean, your are really not that pretty at all, you know, but these pictures make you look alright!” And he meant it as a sweet compliment. It kinda crushed me. This is why I hardly ever post pictures of myself on the blog.
* I am a terrific cook. If the hubby and I weren’t trying to eat better, I could give Martha a run for her money.
* I long for the day that I can quit my day job. Yet I feel like I am not aloud to say that because it might appear to that I am not committed to my day job. A girl can dream, right? (Side note: I really do have a lovely day job and work with amazing people).
* Not gonna lie, I would really love a nose job (just being honest).
* I am often lonely, and wish I was better at keeping in touch with people.
* I live in fear too often. Sometimes fear prevents me from enjoying the present, small things in life that are precious to me. Why do I let fear rule my life?
So, thanks for reading this. Hope that it is not too much of a downer! But this is me! Please feel free to do something similar on your blogs (just like Rachel encouraged readers to do on her blog). I’d love to learn more about you all!
Stacie
i know that i don’t know you at all, but you are beautiful!!!
i love that you are being honest in this post, as it’s definitely something that takes some guts to do, and i don’t usually comment (i’m quite a silent observer usually, and i adore your blog), but i wanted to let you know that you are gorgeous, you have nothing to worry about. 😉
also – crazy story about the boy you gave a black eye to in 1st grade! I swear, we might be long lost sisters or something. In first grade, I gave a boy a black eye in exactly the opposite situation: I punched him the nose on purpose because he was chasing me and being an overall bully (I was pretty petite in those days and he was rather bully-sized…) and told the principle later that it was because I had been spinning around with my arms outstretched and accidentally whacked him! Ha! 😀
anyways, long comment. sorry! 😉
I agree with Angie! (I’m also a silent observer. Ha!) 🙂 You seriously have the most gorgeous eyes! There are a bunch of rude people who need a kick in the butt. There personality makes them ugly. Don’t get down on your self. You have so much going for you and are sooo talented! Thanks for sharing. Was fun to read!
I love reading this type of thing about people!
I tend to attract over-sharers upon first meetings! I guess that means we would be great friends!
Friend,
I think you’re lovely! And I think I also have a tendency to over share but it seems we are kindred spirits in a few regards because we really had such a great conversation at the Mudhouse earlier this month! I really, truly enjoyed it.
I feel like I know you in a new dimension after that and reading posts like this. I LOVE stories!
P.S. My younger brother used to make fun of my ski-slope nose (it was much more pronounced in elementary school) and call me fat. I was a little chubby growing up and still have to work hard at some insecurities in the image department. 😉
I love that you were so open and honest. I’m 5’10” …I remember the comments from way back when. It can injure self esteem. I also don’t share photos of myself much because of the same thing. My body changed so much after I had a baby and I can hardly look at myself.
🙂 I think we’re all the same in the end. You know what I mean?
I found you through rachel she just linked this on twitter..
and honestly this made me cry a little. I also have low self esteem but i never share it. People have made me feel bad for everything including not being in love with myself. I think you are beautiful and brave. And this post helped me today
You are one of my top three favorite people in the whole world and I have always thought you were beautiful, even if I didn’t tell you enough. I love your post, especially because it reminds me of how well I know you and how much I still have to learn about you. Most of all I’m glad that I am the only one in the world who can call you my sister.
I’m glad to know that I am not the only one to share too much right off the bat. I once started a conversation with a new friend with “I don’t really like people… or their kids.” that was my ridiculous and completely wrong way of saying that i am an introvert. ugh. it’s completely not true. that’s just the way my mouth chose to put it. sigh.
What you said resonates with me so much! I’ve been 5’10” since at least 8th grade (about 5’8″ in 6th grade) and have always felt awkward and unsure about myself. I still have low self-esteem. I have trouble keeping up relationships with friends but get lonely a lot, too. I’m scared of so many things!
I’m glad I’m not alone in these experiences. Thanks for your honesty!
Friend, you’re beautiful. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. Your nose is perfect, so let’s get to posting more pictures of your pretty self.
xo
I can really relate to you with the fears and wanting to quit your day job! My fear has prevented me from doing what I truly want, but I’m finally pushing it aside and slowing working towards my dreams.
Oh, and I have to say that you are an absolutely beautiful person! If anyone tells you otherwise, then they are just jealous that they don’t have what you do.
Just found your blog thru and RT on twitter, and so glad I stopped by. Love the blog!
wow stacie, thank you for being so amazingly honest & vulnerable – that is not easy to do! and it pushes me to be more so on my own blog. such a fantastic post, so fun to get to know you on a different level.
our “presents” are so strikingly similar! i wish we lived close enough to get together for coffee! i really relate to a lot of your struggles. i too have let fear be in control far too much of my life. and i still struggle with low self-esteem, probably stemming from friends in my past who treated me poorly. and you know i am ready to quit by day job!
that guy’s comment really pissed me off!! i think you are lovely, truly. and your eyes are so, so pretty!!
I can’t believe someone actually told you you’re not pretty! The picture of yourself that you posted with this post is so cute! You ARE pretty!
Wow. That is all I can say. My heart is so full of thanks and love that I could cry! Thank you all for the encouraging words about this blog post. Please know that it came from a genuine place, and I am so thankful to have such caring readers.
Stacie
Thank you for sharing your insecurities – it’s a very difficult thing to do, even with your closest friends! I think you’re a very talented and beautiful young lady, and although it’s natural to be self-critical, I hope the responses to this post have lifted your spirits and confidence.
Lois xx